i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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