if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
