I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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