Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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