I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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