I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I pour the whiskey from now on
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
