I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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