Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
