His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
