He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
