There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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