Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
