Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
