Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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