David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
