I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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