I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
