Porn is love you can see.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize