You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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