Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
