it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize