lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
