Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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