She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
