Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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