babies were throwing up all over the place
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
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