Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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