rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
