Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
