I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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