Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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