forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
