Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
