he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
