he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
