just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
