thus making me awesome and them whores
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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