weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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