Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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