Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
