does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
