I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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