Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No I am not eating basil off your cock
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize