He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
