we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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