he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
