I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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