Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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