Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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