god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The feeling are messing with the penis
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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