Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
