I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
