hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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