also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
