I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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