Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
