I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I forget how to act sober
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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