everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
