can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
