Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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