He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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