last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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