What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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