I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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