like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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