I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just found puke in my bra..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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