I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
