There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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