just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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