I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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